On Stress and the Neurotic

Like many psychological mechanisms, “stress” is a word with nebulous semantic boundaries, often by design. Before we talk about relieving stress, let’s clarify what it is and what it isn’t.

Stress is not guilt. It is common for neurotics to repress their stress by consciously labeling it as “guilt”, despite knowing that the event or circumstance that triggered the feeling is not one that merits or even relates to a negative moral judgment. Some examples where neurotics complain of (or react to) supposed feelings of “guilt”, when they’re actually experiencing stress: allowing themselves to rest, apologizing for bumping into inanimate objects, or refusing an unreasonable or impossible request.

Stress is not exertion or pressure, at least in psychoanalytic terms. Stress is often discussed as though it is something external that enters the body of its own accord in response to a difficult situation. This, of course, is how it seems to the neurotic, for whom stress emerges unconsciously and thus seems to be outside of their control. But it is not actually external. Stress can be diminished and potentially even eliminated, even in the most trying circumstances. This is exemplified in the fact that some people develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and others do not, despite undergoing very similar experiences.

Stress is a mechanism for repressing anxiety. All neurotic structures and techniques arise as a response to and attempt to manage anxiety, and stress is but one of the forms this can take (others include fear, obsession, and hysteria).

So what form does stress take? What’s happening when someone subjectively describes themselves as “under a lot of stress” or “super stressed out”? Physically, stress results in contraction of the muscles, including the heart, leading to tense shoulders, high blood pressure, and physical exhaustion.

This “contraction” is mirrored by what is taking place in the subject’s mind. A topic or idea that causes anxiety is compulsively and through great effort kept isolated from the rest of the mind. Thus, the subject’s mental focus is turned away from the source of anxiety (repression) and toward the space around it, keeping it “clear” from any outside interference. Because so much effort is expended to keep the source of anxiety isolated, very little can be directed toward actually dealing with or managing it. This often allows — or, perhaps, requires — the source of this anxiety to grow, expanding its surface area and requiring even more vigilant monitoring of its circumference lest it be allowed to impact the rest of the subject’s mind.

Note that the concepts that trigger stress, by definition, cannot be the source of anxiety. Rather, the triggers of stress are the mental objects that intrude upon this must-be-kept-clear space, threatening to come into contact with (and thus reveal) the source of the anxiety. For this reason, stress triggers are often related but tangential to our true anxiety. A parent is stressed by their child’s tantrum because they are anxious about their well-being. A lawyer is stressed by the opposing counsel because they are anxious about their own competence, and so on. By focusing on managing the stress trigger, they prevent it from coming to its natural conclusion, which would reveal the true nature of the source of anxiety.

So what is the solution to reducing the subjective experience of stress? One way is to allow it to reach this natural conclusion, similar to the technique of exposure therapy that helps mitigate phobia/fear. This works in many circumstances, where the stress trigger is relatively harmless. For example, allowing the child to throw a tantrum despite the uncomfortable feelings it provokes forces the parent into a confrontation with their own anxiety, and when they sees that their child eventually calms down and returns to normal, they’ve learned a truth they wouldn’t have otherwise, reducing both their future stress and anxiety.

However, some situations can’t be left unmanaged. If I’m stressed out by the electric bill each month, I probably shouldn’t intentionally leave it unpaid to see what happens. That is to say, it probably won’t just “be okay” if I don’t handle it. What to do in these situations?

One technique is to visualize stress as a form of security theater. It’s important to understand that stress itself is neither necessary for preventing unsavory outcomes, nor does it serve to actually protect us from our underlying anxiety. In the previous example, you can pay the bill without being stressed about it — and if you can’t afford to pay it, and the lights go out, stress does not prevent that outcome. Stress is the equivalent of sending a ceremonial honor guard to march a nuclear bomb through the streets of a city, flanked by waving flags and somber music. It gives the illusion that the source of the anxiety is being properly attended to and managed, but there’s still a nuclear bomb in the middle of the city, and no amount of pomp can truly disguise that.

When there’s a bomb in your city, it is psychologically healthy to feel anxious about it, in reasonable proportion to the harm it can cause. This anxiety should reduce in response to actionable measures taken that can actually alleviate this potential harm — not to ceremonial measures, and not before the actions are taken.

(Incidentally, one action that can meaningfully alleviate harm is the practice of admitting and accepting the potential for a negative outcome, which can only happen if this outcome is allowed to be perceived. Thus, simply by allowing themselves to experience anxiety, the subject is able to alleviate it somewhat, if not entirely.)

What does anxiety look and feel like? It is primarily a sensation of oscillation. The breath is shaky, the body shivers, the eyes dart. It is unlike fear, however, in that there is little residual tension in the muscles. They are not contracted, primed to flee or fight. Instead, they are shaky the way a muscle is shaky after being over-exercised: exhausted and unable to maintain its normal structure. Anxiety in its purest form is debilitating, such that the subject is mostly unable to make decisions or exert their will, even upon themselves.

This oscillation mirrors the source of the anxiety, which is the paradox that exists in the mind as the result of an unanswered question — the Schrödinger’s cat, so to speak. And yet it is only in this state that truth can finally be revealed — because it is only when all other methods of control or influence (stress, fear, etc.) are removed that the subject is permitted to be nothing but a subject, able only to perceive. And it is through this act of pure perception that the subject’s inner reality is forced to confront the real, and to shift and adjust in response to it. With this, a question is answered, a paradox collapsed — and the repressed source of anxiety resolved.